Here is my attempt at rewriting that information in a funny, Reader's Digest style:

The Biggest Pillar Party in Istanbul

Have you heard the one about the marble pillar that just couldn't stay standing? This green guy has quite the story to tell! Located in the lovely Vehzadebasi Mosque courtyard in Istanbul, this pillar was originally much taller but unfortunately suffered from a bit of a leaning problem over the centuries. You see, being stuck in the same spot for hundreds of years can really play tricks on your posture. Between the soggy Egyptian pudding it's made of and the ever-shifting Istanbul soil beneath it, it's really no wonder this pillar started tilting like a tumbler after too many baklava shots! The poor thing was slowly sinking downward while the ground steadily rose up around it. Pretty soon it found itself knee-deep in the dirt, feeling about as straight as the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Thankfully it didn't topple over completely like a clumsy drunk at the end of a wild Istanbul night. No, this party pillar is still hanging in there - it just might need a pillar chiropractor and a good base bracer is all! So whenever you're wandering around Sultanahmet, be sure to stop and smile at the little pillar that couldn't. Just don't mock it for leaning - in Istanbul, we all need a little help staying upright sometimes!