Taking it way back with this one, here’s a little spoken word I wrote back in 2020

“I wanted to tell you that I am sorry for being so selfish when you said that you wanted to be free; I wish that I had been more graceful at letting go. I took so many things personally because my branches were bare; exposed. When I saw that look in your eyes, I thought you were well aware of and accepting the scars upon my bark from seasons past; YOU looked at me that way, it was a way that hung all of the stars in the universe within those black round holes that were carved so perfectly at the core of your icy knit fibers.
I couldn’t understand why you were turning away; my sweaty hand slipped from the rigid anatomy of your fingertips; so sudden. My dreams have put me in this revolving door of company and low-lit scenes that suddenly invert; am I awake? You left me here, rooted to the earth with all of these organs of mine to babysit; involuntary became voluntary and I had to remind myself to breath: inhale, exhale. A lifeless body I was, always reaching for the breath of another to make me dance. My branches were bare; exposed. I was sure that soon the termites would come. I waited, shivering, the sound of my breath startled me at times, when I forgot I was involuntary; existing.
My youth was somewhere doing somersaults in the stars, when I felt a shifting happening; side to side. Pieces were being pulled out and pushed into the wooden frame, changing the image inside; they settled. I opened my eyes, and in awe drew a breath in. Buds were pushing from my limbs, and I stood solid and steady. I was surrounded with gifts garnished with mildewed paper and torn corners; had they been there all along? I didn’t see. I told you I thought you knew nothing about yourself, but that person was me. I am a queen in the forest; I too long to be free. This year has come full circle, another ring on the tree. I wanted to tell you that from time to time I can hear your words echo on the wind; they bring me peace. I forgive you, and like water, I love you.”- Britty Bardez a.k.a. Dj Shewxlf #stumbleduponspokenwords #love #spokenword #poetry