- As parents, we try our best to foster positive self-esteem in our children. Having strong self-esteem encourages us to push through challenges, try new things, and believe in ourselves. Self-esteem is highly influential in how we see ourselves, which shapes our behaviors and decisions.
- Loving parents can sometimes unintentionally hurt their child's self-esteem. We sometimes make mistakes when it comes to what to say and how we behave. These mishaps can negatively impact our children's self-esteem even though we have positive underlying intentions. We are, after all, only human. To avoid these mistakes, we first need to know what they are and how they cause a negative impact.
- Search
- Find a Therapist (City or Postcode)
- Jeffrey Bernstein Ph.D.
- Jeffrey Bernstein Ph.D.
- Liking the Child You Love
- PARENTING
- Hurting Your Child's Self-Esteem: 4 Blindspots
- Even the most loving and caring parents may inadvertantly harm their kids.
- Posted February 12, 2023
- Reviewed by Kaja Perina
- KEY POINTS
- Loving parents can sometimes unintentionally hurt their children's self-esteem.
- Overprotecting, injecting guilt, criticizing, and slinging sarcastic comments will likely hurt self-esteem and lead to defiance.
- The more you communicate in positive ways, and are accountable for your negative behaviors, the better your child will feel.
- As parents, we try our best to foster positive self-esteem in our children. Having strong self-esteem encourages us to push through challenges, try new things, and believe in ourselves. Self-esteem is highly influential in how we see ourselves, which shapes our behaviors and decisions.
- Loving parents can sometimes unintentionally hurt their child's self-esteem. We sometimes make mistakes when it comes to what to say and how we behave. These mishaps can negatively impact our children's self-esteem even though we have positive underlying intentions. We are, after all, only human. To avoid these mistakes, we first need to know what they are and how they cause a negative impact.
- Here are four types of self-esteem-sapping parental behaviors.
- 1. Overprotecting
- Constantly shielding a child from challenges and obstacles can prevent them from developing confidence and a sense of competence. Overprotecting can also limit a child's opportunities to explore, learn, and make mistakes, which are all important for their growth and development.
- Moreover, overprotecting children can lead to feelings of anxiety and insecurity, as they may not feel prepared to face the world on their own. It can also create a sense of dependence and a lack of independence, which can be problematic as children transition into adulthood.
- Parents need to strike a balance between protecting their children and allowing them to take risks and face challenges, to help them develop into confident, self-sufficient individuals. Encouraging independence, fostering self-esteem, and teaching problem-solving skills can all help to mitigate the negative effects of overprotection.
- 2. Injecting guilt
- It’s one thing to ask a child how they would feel if they were in your shoes or someone else’s in a given situation. Too often, however, parents push this to the limit and try to make their children feel guilty because of their thoughts, feelings, or actions. Parents who use guilt to control their children run the risk of alienating them.
- 3. Criticizing harshly
- Being criticized by a parent can be emotionally challenging, especially if it is done in a harsh or demeaning manner. Critical comments can erode a person's self-esteem and sense of worth and can cause feelings of sadness, anger, or frustration. It can also lead to a decrease in motivation and a lack of confidence in one's abilities.
- 4. Speaking with sarcasm
- You are using sarcasm if you say things you don’t mean and imply the opposite of what you’re saying through your tone of voice. An example would be saying something like, “Oh, aren’t you smart,” when your child makes a poor choice. The use of sarcasm hurts children because it feels shaming. Putting a child down through sarcasm creates an obstacle for parents trying to communicate effectively.
Cadet Talha
20 Articles/Blog posts 🔥
